Actress and Writer Twinkle Khanna attended the launch of Surf Excel New Campaign’ Haar Ko Harao’ along with former Indian cricket team skipper Sourav Ganguly and former Badminton player Pulela Gopichand on Thursday in Mumbai. During the panel discussion, Twinkle stated that children can be successful by capitalizing what makes them unique and that is what we need to tell our children.
Talking about dealing with failures, Twinkle said, “Sometimes when you fail, you get the best out of yourself. It could be in the same field or in other aspects. I think as parents we do our children a great disservice. We treat them alike and we all also see the reflection of our self but each child has attributes which are unique to them.”
“I used to write when I was very young but mostly, our parents feel that my child should become like me but I feel those genes are just part of the story so when we look at children we have to see what they are really good at. I feel earning good marks in the exams shouldn’t be the only parameter for children’s success. Children can be successful by capitalizing what makes them unique and that is what we need to tell our children”
Qualities like grit, resilience and coping with failures are important so when asked Twinkle how you instill those qualities in your children, she said, ‘I try to slip in a few things when we are doing other activities. I give them an example of a game of snakes and ladders. I tell them when you go up, I am there for you cheering and when you go down, I am there consoling you. I feel even if you lose, you have to play another round and even if you win, you still have to play next round so the game never ends.”
“If you tell them it just important to play then I think that is what keeps them going. I really believe you must tell your kids things in an entertaining manner and if you give them lecture then you lost them. Make them laugh, treat them with love and kindness and let them grow up to be confident adults.
When asked Twinkle how she communicates with her son about sex and alcohol, she said, “I think it is very important for me as I make jokes at everything. It’s my inherent nature. I make jokes about sex and alcohol with the hope that at some point when they really need to talk about it with somebody at their crucial point then rather than going to their peers, they will come to me and talk about it. I try to make fun of my son about gender and anatomy so nothing is wrapped up in cotton and thermocol. Everything is open and that is how we should raise our children”
Talking about Surf Excel’s ‘Daag Achhe Hain’ concept, Twinkle said, “We speak a lot about failure in abilities but especially with little girls, what we haven’t discussed is that they feel they are failing because of the need to look a certain way, be a certain color and weight. My friend’ little daughter once told me that she doesn’t want to go swimming because she thought that by doing swimming she will become tan and brown so I told her I want to be green because I want colour of broccoli so I think ‘Daag Achhe Hai’ is about accepting everything that you have and embracing it. I have never been the weight I want to be but now I realize that it’s all about accepting your flaws that is what ‘Daag Achhe Hai’ means”.
At the event, Sourav Ganguly and Pulela Gopichand also shared their life experiences about failures and how they guide their children.